Celebrate Trans Joy. Educate with Love. Remember with Compassion.

November is Transgender Awareness Month! It's a time to celebrate transgender, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming people, increase understanding, and remind the world that everyone deserves to be seen, respected, and loved.

But let's make November about more than awareness. Let's make it about JOY! The joy of being authentic, the freedom of living openly, and the beauty of discovering and celebrating who we are.

And here's something worth remembering: God knows who you are. Every single one of us.

God Knew You Before the World Had an Opinion

Psalm 139:13-14 reminds us:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

Before anyone had an opinion about your appearance, identity, or how you should live your life, God already knew you.

God knows your heart, your dreams, your struggles, and the beautiful person you are. God's love isn't limited by someone else's understanding of gender.

You don't have to explain yourself to the Creator of the universe!

You are not a mistake waiting to be corrected. You are a person worthy of being celebrated.

Did God Run Out of Creativity? Absolutely Not!

Look around at creation! God made sunsets in countless colors, flowers in extraordinary varieties, and animals in shapes and sizes beyond our imagination.

Nature doesn't seem particularly interested in sticking to one shade, shape, or pattern. So why do we sometimes expect humanity to fit into such a narrow little box?

Diversity isn't a mistake in creation. It's part of the wonder of it.

What a wonderfully boring world this would be if we were all exactly alike!

Perhaps it's time we spent less energy deciding who belongs and more time celebrating the beautiful diversity God created.

Let's Make Room for Trans Joy!

Transgender awareness isn't only about discrimination, challenges, and injustice. Those conversations matter, but they aren't the whole story.

Trans people deserve to be celebrated for more than their struggles.

There is joy in choosing a name that feels like home, looking in the mirror and recognizing yourself, finding community, falling in love, building families, and simply feeling free to be you.

Trans joy is found in laughter, friendships, accomplishments, celebrations, and everyday moments.

Let's celebrate people who are thriving, not just those who are surviving. Everyone deserves the freedom to live authentically and experience happiness without having to justify who they are.

Love in Action: Be an Ally!

You don't have to be transgender to make a difference. You just have to be willing to let love lead the way.

Listen to transgender people. Respect their names and pronouns. Be willing to learn, challenge harmful stereotypes, and speak up when you encounter discrimination. Help make our churches, workplaces, schools, and communities places where everyone feels welcome.

You don't have to get everything right the first time. If you make a mistake, apologize, learn, and keep going.

Love isn't a perfection contest!

Being an ally isn't about having all the answers. It's about having an open heart and standing alongside people who deserve dignity and respect.

November 20: Transgender Day of Remembrance

November is also a time to remember.

Transgender Day of Remembrance honors transgender people whose lives have been lost to anti-transgender violence.

Behind every name is a person with dreams, relationships, laughter, and a future that should never have been taken away.

We remember those who should still be here, and we hold their families, friends, and communities in our hearts.

But remembrance must also inspire action. We must work toward a world where transgender people can live safely, openly, and authentically.

Remembering with compassion means doing more than lighting a candle. It means helping create a future where fewer candles need to be lit.

God Knows Your Name. God Knows Your Heart.

To our transgender, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming siblings:

You are not an accident. You are not a mistake. You are wonderfully made, worthy of dignity, and deserving of love.

Your life matters. Your joy matters. Your story matters.

And you are loved.

To our churches, families, friends, and allies, let's make sure our actions reflect the love we so often preach. Let's open doors instead of closing them, offer belonging instead of judgment, and celebrate people rather than trying to change them.

This November, let's celebrate trans joy, educate with love, and remember with compassion.

God knows you. God sees you. God loves you. And you belong.

Be uniquely you. Be wonderfully you. Be joyfully you. And above all, be the love that changes the world.

#TransgenderAwarenessMonth #TransJoy #GodIsLove #TransgenderDayOfRemembrance #LGBTQIA #WhereTrueLoveIs

 

LGBTQ+ History Month: Why It Matters

It’s October, which means it’s LGBTQ+ History Month! 🏳️‍🌈

And no, you don’t need to memorize every LGBTQ+ historical figure for a pop quiz. There will be no scantron sheet. Probably.

But we do need to remember the people who came before us—the activists, artists, writers, parents, teachers, and ordinary people who stood up, spoke out, survived, created, loved, and helped change the world.

Why does it matter?

Because LGBTQ+ people have always been part of history.

We celebrate the victories that came from years of courage and activism. We remember the struggles so we don't forget what people endured. And we share these stories so young LGBTQ+ people can see that people like them have always existed.

History also helps fight erasure.

Because if we don't tell our stories, someone might decide we're just a footnote.

And let's be honest—we're much too fabulous to be a footnote.

LGBTQ+ history isn't separate from history.

It's American history.
It's family history.
It's community history.
It's human history.

And here's the really important part: we're still making history.

So this October, learn a name you don't know. Share a story. Listen to an LGBTQ+ person. Celebrate the people who helped make the road a little easier for those coming behind them.

And maybe bring snacks. History is always better with snacks.

🏳️‍🌈 Happy LGBTQ+ History Month!

Our stories matter. Our history matters. We belong in the story.

Hello My Name Is Declan

 

A Name Is More Than Just a Name

Let's talk about names.

Not the name of your Wi-Fi, your favorite houseplant, or the sourdough starter you've somehow become emotionally attached to. I'm talking about your name the one that belongs to you.

For many transgender people, choosing a name that reflects who they are can be an important part of living authentically.

And research tells us that it can make a real difference.

Studies have found that transgender people particularly transgender youth experience lower rates of depression and suicidal behavior when their chosen names are respected across the different parts of their lives.

That's pretty powerful for something as simple as saying someone's name.

A Name Says, "I See You"

Using someone's chosen name communicates something deeply human:

I hear you.
I respect you.
I see you.

For LGBTQIA+ people, that kind of recognition can be especially meaningful after years of being told, directly or indirectly, that who they are is somehow wrong.

For Christians, there's an especially beautiful connection here: love sees people as they are.

We don't have to understand every detail of someone's journey to treat them with dignity.

And we certainly don't need a 47-slide PowerPoint presentation before we can learn someone's name.

Mistakes Happen

Let's be honest. We are human.

You may accidentally use the wrong name or pronoun.

When that happens, you don't need to deliver an acceptance speech worthy of the Oscars.

Just say:

“Sorry. I meant Declan.”

Then keep going.

The goal isn't perfection.

The goal is love.

Names Matter

A chosen name can help someone feel more comfortable in their own skin. It can affirm identity, build confidence, and help people move through the world without constantly having to explain themselves.

And sometimes, a name is simply the name that finally feels like home.

So when someone tells you their name, listen.

Use it.

Respect it.

Because love doesn't always require grand gestures.

Sometimes love looks like something as simple as saying:

“I hear you. I see you. And I will call you by the name that is yours.”

Because where true love is, there is room for all of us to be fully, wonderfully, authentically ourselves.

Who Met Dolly at the Pearly Gates?

 

If we imagine heaven through a lens of love, inclusion, and queer joy, I can picture Dolly being greeted by a joyful crowd of LGBTQIA+ people and allies whose lives she touched. And those whose lives represent the values she has championed.

A few people I could imagine near the front of that line:

• Freddie Mercury — would probably greet her with a huge smile, saying, “Well, darling, we’ve been waiting for you!”
• Betty White - Because Betty and Dolly had a lot of love in their lives and could compare earthly notes.
• Judy Garland — because honestly, Dolly and Judy greeting each other feels almost inevitable. 
• George Michael — another extraordinary musician whose life and identity resonated deeply with LGBTQIA+ people. He would be singing and dancing when he saw her.
• Harvey Milk — welcoming her with a warm embrace and perhaps reminding her how many people found courage to live authentically.
• Marsha P. Johnson — bringing that unmistakable joy, activism, and fierce spirit.
• Jesus - He would make her some heavenly tasting cornbread and tell her how proud he was of how she loved everyone. 
• Matthew Shepard — He would greet her with youthful exuberance and be there representing the countless young people whose lives were cut short because they were LGBTQIA+ telling her how many lives she saved by being her.
• Alan Turing — perhaps standing quietly gratefuly greeting her to thank her for a world that she helped make a little kinder.
• Sylvia Rivera — would be absolutely making sure Dolly knew that the most marginalized members of the community were included in the celebration.
• And then, perhaps, an enormous crowd of ordinary LGBTQIA+ people and allies—teachers, parents, artists, pastors, activists, children, grandparents, and everyone who ever found a little more courage because Dolly reminded them that they mattered.

And I have a feeling Dolly wouldn't be standing there receiving all the attention. She'd probably look at the crowd, laugh that beautiful laugh, and say something like:

"Well, look at all of you! I thought I was coming to heaven, but it looks like heaven came to greet me." 

 

 Dormant, Not Dead

John 12:24–26

“Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.”

I am going to intermix seeds and acorns  because I like squirrels.

What Does Jesus Mean by “Die”?

In church I've heard these words as a call to sacrifice.

Today I hear Jesus saying something different.

I hear Jesus talking about transformation.

I hear the Divine lover of my being talking about the mystery of becoming.

 

LET'S TALK SEEDS

A seed can look completely lifeless.

You can hold it in your hand and see no evidence of life.

But inside that tiny seed is an embryo—a beginning of a plant.

It contains what it needs to begin again.

Give it the right conditions

It wakes up.

The seed begins to germinate.

The shell cracks.

Roots begin reaching downward.

A stem begins reaching upward.

Eventually, something that looked dead becomes something unmistakably alive.

• The seed carries possibility within itself.
• The breaking of the shell is not the destruction of the seed. It is the beginning of its becoming.

Seeds are miracles of creation with shells. 

Sound familiar?

LGBTQIA+ & 

those who are othered by society

know about shells/closets

Hiding becomes a skill

Being fully yourself can be uncomfortable or dangerous.

So we build protective shells.

We learn what parts of ourselves are safe to reveal and what parts need to remain hidden.

We learn to hide -

Our gender.

Our sexuality.

Our relationships.

Our dreams.

Our truth.

• Hiding doesn't mean weakness
• Sometimes protection is necessary.

But here's the problem:

Survival is not the same thing as living.

Shells 

There comes a time when the shell begins to crack.

Maybe it happens when you come out.

Maybe when you transition.

Maybe when you finally tell someone a truth.

Maybe when you look in the mirror and say:

“I am allowed to be this person.”

That can feel scary.

Because when the shell cracks- change happens

The identity you constructed to survive begins to change.

The expectations of other people begin to lose their power.

The version of you that everyone else knew may begin disappearing.

And sometimes we mistake that transformation for death.

But perhaps what is dying is not you.

Perhaps what is dying is the shell.

The shame.

The fear.

The uncomfortable -  comfort zone

The lie that you had to become for someone else to feel loved.

Speaking points:

• What is ending?
• Is it really me—or is it the shell?
• Is God taking something away or making room for something new?
• What if becoming yourself feels like dying because you have lived so long as someone else?

GROWTH POTENTIAL 

Seeds don't grow everywhere.

They need an environment where blossoming is possible.

Like us.

Some environments help us grow.

Others keep us buried.

Ask yourself:

• Where do I feel safe enough to be myself?
• Who allows me to tell the truth?
• Where am I nourished?
• Where am I constantly made to feel inadequate?
• What relationships give me life?
• What relationships make me shrink?

Maybe your soil is a community.

Maybe it is simply one person who says:

“I see you. I believe you. You don't have to hide from me.” 

THANK YOU BELOVED

 Squirrels carrying their acorns remind me of the seeds in today's passage.

Because I watch squirrels out my office window and have named them SOOO here come the acorns. Yes, ricky, barnaby and freddy are my front yard squirrels.

Now, you may be wondering why I put squirrels in a sermon about seeds.

Well, stay with me.

Squirrels bury things.

Sometimes they bury food because they are preparing for the future.

And sometimes they forget where they put it. (ME AT 65-keys, spouse)

Which means that somewhere beneath the ground in my yard, there may be something waiting to be discovered. Hopefully not my keys.

And I wonder if we do the same thing.

We bury 

I think God works thru encounters 

An encouraging person

A sermon

A conversation or question

A moment of grace.

And suddenly something we buried begins to emerge.

Ask Yourself;

• What dream did I put away?
• What joy did I decide I wasn't allowed to have?
• What truth have I buried because someone told me it was unacceptable?

Maybe it isn't dead.

Maybe it's dormant.

Jesus says the seed falls into the earth.

It enters darkness.

It disappears from view.

There are seasons in our lives when we feel buried.

Buried by grief.

shame.

rejection.

uncertainty.

Buried by other people's expectations.

Buried by our own fear.

But being buried doesn't necessarily mean being forgotten.

The seed is buried in the same soil where others might think it has been lost.

And perhaps that is where faith comes in.

Because God knows the difference between a grave and a garden. And I believe we do too. 

Whether we understand resurrection literally, spiritually, metaphorically—or some combination of all three—there is something powerful in the message.

Jesus believed that buried things could bloom.

that people could awaken.

 that love was stronger than fear shame or rejection

Stronger than the tombs we build around ourselves.

So perhaps there is something in your life right now that feels dead.

Perhaps you have stopped dreaming.

Perhaps you have stopped believing.

Perhaps you have buried a part of yourself.

Perhaps someone convinced you that you were too much.

Or not enough.

Or wrong.

Or unworthy.

Or outside God's love.

But hear this:

Don't mistake dormancy for death.

The seed may simply be waiting.

Waiting for water.

Waiting for warmth.

Waiting for light.

Waiting for the right soil.

Waiting for time.

Waiting for the courage to crack open.

And sometimes what we need isn't to become someone new.

“What looks like an ending may be an awakening.”

“What looks like burial may be planting.”

“What looks like death may be dormancy.”

Sometimes we need the freedom to become more fully who we already are.

Close

Perhaps the invitation of resurrection IS - 

Not to become someone else.

But to awaken.

.

Carl Jung wrote:

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

AND

“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you.”

Listen to that quiet voice that says:

“There is more life in you.”

“You are not finished.”

“You are not dead.”

“You are dormant.”

And when the warmth of grace reaches you...

When the rain of acceptance comes...

When the soil becomes safe...

When the shell finally cracks...

GROW

Reach toward the light.

Become who you were created to be.

A Return Ticket To A Moment

"A photograph is the pause button of life."

Pictures are a return ticket to a moment that is otherwise gone. Those moments may still be tucked away in the deepest recesses of our minds. Some memories we try to forget, yet they remain a part of us. Being a transgender man pictures from my past can bring up a perplexity of emotions and thoughts.

This photo recently resurfaced in my Facebook memories. My beloved knew me when it was taken. She shared her thoughts about it and then asked for mine. Her question sent me into a period of introspection.

These are my thoughts.

The person in the picture above feels like a stranger. I lived that life. I remember the moment the photograph was taken. Yet it is a profoundly strange experience to look at yourself and at the same time not recognize yourself.

I see someone who was doing the best they could to be a person they were never meant to be. Someone existing in a state of not truly being. They survived, they smiled, they kept going—but they were disconnected from their authentic self.

Imagine looking at a photograph of someone and being told, "That's you," while every part of you insists it isn't. The memories belong to me, but the person in the picture no longer feels like me. It is a disorienting experience, one that is difficult to explain unless you've lived it.

Today, that image reminds me not only of who I was expected to be, but of the long journey toward becoming who I have always been.

This is me now with my Beloved. 

I feel more me than I ever have in my entire life.

I am Declan. I am a transgender man. I am loved. I am becoming.

I will leave you with this quote to ponder. 

“Which of my photographs is my favorite? 

The one I’m going to take tomorrow.”
― Imogen Cunningham

 

Shifting Sands

 "Life is a desert of shifting sand dunes. Unpredictable, erratic. Harmony changes into dissonance, the immediate outlives the profound, the esoteric becomes cliched." Ella Leya

People change. We shift.

While many of our core personality traits remain relatively consistent, we all change over time. Life moves us.

The how and why of that change are often found in the defining moments of our lives. By moveable events, I mean the experiences that move us in one way or another—parenthood, illness, relocation, success, joy, grief, and hardship. Each can become a catalyst for growth. A shift.

Coming out as transgender wasn't a rejection of who I am. It was a shift in how I present myself and how others see me. You don't see less of me now—you see more.

Some might describe what has happened to me as "shapeshifting," but I see it differently. It's more like shifting sand shaped by the wind. The sand never stops being sand. It simply takes on a new form. Sometimes shifting sand creates something beautiful. Sometimes it changes the landscape in ways that make people uncomfortable. I won't get into the ecological benefits of sand dunes or the problems of beach erosion—that's above my pay grade. Instead, I'd rather talk about the beauty of metaphorical flexibility.

Just as shifting sand needs the wind to move it, I needed something to move me. For me, that was the weight of gender dysphoria and a deep desire to live authentically.

When I look back, I can see the moment that finally blew me out of my deeply rooted discomfort. It began when I met my beloved wife and started reading her writing—especially her book, Transfigured. If God could love me and create me as transgender, then why couldn't I embrace who They made me to be and tell the world the truth?

I also made a conscious choice to value growth and reality over the comfort of staying hidden. And I intentionally surrounded myself with people who nurtured truth instead of fear.

That brings me to my youngest and oldest children. They are both adults now, and from the very beginning they accepted me openly and wholeheartedly. That gift is greater than they may ever fully realize.

Do they have questions or private struggles? Perhaps. I don't know their inner thoughts, and they don't owe me that. What I do know is this: they use my correct name and pronouns. They respect me. They love me unconditionally. They have loved me for who I have always been.

My beloved, along with two of my children, have been the wind beneath my wings. Their acceptance and affirmation have given me the courage to weather the storms that so many transgender people face. They have helped me become more fully myself.

Love shifted me into the reality of the man God made me to be.

Beloved, Tanya, and Britt—your love has been the very breath of God in my life.