Transgender Awareness:The Beautiful Possibility of Becoming

 

John 12:24–26

“Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.”

What if some things we think are dying are actually beginning? What if what looks like an ending is really an opportunity to become?

Jesus uses the image of a seed falling into the ground to teach us about transformation and new life. I love this image because a seed can look lifeless, yet inside that tiny shell is the potential for something extraordinary. With the right nourishment, warmth, and light, it begins to emerge. Its shell cracks, roots take hold, and new life reaches toward the sun. The breaking of the shell isn't the destruction of the seed. It's the beginning of something beautiful.

I think there's a connection between that little seed and the human experience. Many of us spend years hiding parts of ourselves because we've learned that being different can come with rejection, judgment, or disappointment. For transgender people and others who have felt excluded, that shell can become a closet where we protect the parts of ourselves the world hasn't always welcomed. Sometimes hiding is necessary for survival. But surviving and truly living are not the same thing.

There comes a moment when we may finally find the courage to come out, transition, speak our truth, or simply look in the mirror and say, "I am allowed to be exactly who I am." What begins to crack isn't our identity. It's the shame, fear, and expectations that have kept us from embracing it.

All people and especially transgender folks need the right environment to flourish. We all need the fuel of acceptance, encouragement, and relationships where we can be ourselves without fear. Sometimes the most beautiful words we can offer another person are simply, "I see you. I love you. You don't have to hide from me."

Now, speaking of seeds, I, being me must bring squirrels into this conversation. I have several little characters outside my office window, including Ricky and Barnaby, who provide me with endless entertainment. I'm sure none of them have earned their Master Gardener credentials. I do believe God is using them to remind me that even the smallest creatures have a part in the beautiful business of planting, growing, and spreading a little joy! Squirrels bury acorns to save for another day. Sometimes they forget where they put them, and those forgotten acorns can eventually become trees. Something tucked away for safekeeping becomes something much bigger than anyone expected.

I wonder how often that happens in our lives. We bury dreams, talents, hopes, and even parts of ourselves because someone told us they weren't acceptable or possible. Yet those things aren't necessarily gone. Sometimes they're simply waiting for the right season, the right encouragement, or a safe place to emerge.

Jesus reminds us that what enters the ground can produce new life. Being buried doesn't mean being forgotten. God knows the difference between a grave and a garden.

Perhaps the same is true when life becomes difficult. Uncertainty, grief, rejection, disappointment, and even fear can make us feel as though we're stuck beneath the soil. But our circumstances do not have to define our future. There is still room for hope, healing, discovery, and joy.

And this message isn't just for transgender people. It's for all of us. Every one of us deserves the freedom to move beyond other people's expectations and discover the beauty of who we are. Imagine a world where we spent less time trying to make people fit into our expectations and more time celebrating their uniqueness. Imagine communities where differences are welcomed, love is generous, and nobody has to apologize for being themselves. I believe that kind of love reflects something beautiful about God. I see it at Spiritus Christi Church. 

If you're feeling stuck or discouraged, remember: your journey is yours alone, so don't worry about keeping up with everyone else. You're not a tomato in a garden competition. Be unique!

For transgender people, transitioning is growth; affirming the person they are in their innermost being. The place God fully sees them.

Perhaps the greatest wonder of God's creation is found in the simple beauty of a seedling reaching toward the light. Each of us carries that same extraordinary potential to grow, flourish, and become. We are ALL wonderfully made, worthy of love, and deserving of the freedom to live authentically.

May the warmth of God's grace and the rain of acceptance surround you, allowing you to blossom. I pray we all experience and accept the beauty of becoming!

No Apologies, No Boxes, Just Beautifully You

 

November is Transgender Awareness Month But let's make it about more than awareness. Let's make it about JOY, LOVE, and CELEBRATING THE BEAUTY OF BEING YOU!

Being transgender, non-binary, or gender-nonconforming isn't something to hide or apologize for. Everyone deserves to live authentically, be respected, and experience the freedom of being who they are.

Psalm 139:13-14 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.

Reminding us that God lovingly created us and that we are wonderfully made.

And here's another beautiful reminder:

1 Samuel 16:7

"People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

God sees beyond appearances, phases of transitioning, labels, and other people's expectations. God knows your heart, your story, and the person you are becoming.

God did not run out of creativity. They are allowing transgender people and really all of us to share in the creation process with Them. Everything evolves. Shifting, growing, blossoming. Have you seen the same two sunsets, a garden year after year, a baby grow into adulthood or a butterfly? Creation is bursting with variety and changes! Why would we expect humanity to fit into just two binary gender boxes?

Diversity and change isn't a mistake. It's part of creation's beauty!

Celebrate Trans Joy!

There is joy in choosing a name that feels like home, looking in the mirror and recognizing yourself, finding community, falling in love, blossoming daily, and living authentically.

Trans people deserve more than acceptance of their struggles. They deserve celebrations of their happiness, accomplishments, friendships, and everyday victories.

Let's celebrate people who are thriving!

Allies Love! 

Want to make a difference? Start with love!

Respect people's names and pronouns, listen without judgment, challenge harmful stereotypes, and help create welcoming spaces in our churches, families, schools, and communities. Give us seats at your tables, safe bathrooms, rights to be who we are.

You don't have to be perfect. If you make a mistake, apologize, learn, and keep loving.

Being an ally isn't about knowing everything. It's about making sure nobody has to face everything alone. Allyship is love in action.

Remember With Compassion

Transgender Day of Remembrance honors transgender people whose lives have been lost to anti-transgender violence.

We remember their names, their stories, and the lives they should still be living. But remembrance must inspire action. Let's work toward a world where transgender people can live safely, openly, and joyfully.

A Little Love Goes a Long Way!

To our transgender, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming siblings: You are not a mistake. You are wonderfully made. Your life matters, your joy matters, and you deserve to be celebrated.

To families, friends, churches, and allies: Let's practice the love we preach. Open doors, build bridges, celebrate differences, and make room for everyone.

This November and everyday, let's celebrate trans joy, educate with love, and remember with compassion.

God knows. God sees. God loves.

And if anyone tells you that you don't belong, remind them that God's guest list is a whole lot bigger than theirs!

Be uniquely you. Be joyfully you. And above all, be the love that changes the world!

 

LGBTQ+ History Month: Why It Matters

It’s October, which means it’s LGBTQ+ History Month! 🏳️‍🌈

And no, you don’t need to memorize every LGBTQ+ historical figure for a pop quiz. There will be no scantron sheet. Probably.

But we do need to remember the people who came before us—the activists, artists, writers, parents, teachers, and ordinary people who stood up, spoke out, survived, created, loved, and helped change the world.

Why does it matter?

Because LGBTQ+ people have always been part of history.

We celebrate the victories that came from years of courage and activism. We remember the struggles so we don't forget what people endured. And we share these stories so young LGBTQ+ people can see that people like them have always existed.

History also helps fight erasure.

Because if we don't tell our stories, someone might decide we're just a footnote.

And let's be honest—we're much too fabulous to be a footnote.

LGBTQ+ history isn't separate from history.

It's American history.
It's family history.
It's community history.
It's human history.

And here's the really important part: we're still making history.

So this October, learn a name you don't know. Share a story. Listen to an LGBTQ+ person. Celebrate the people who helped make the road a little easier for those coming behind them.

And maybe bring snacks. History is always better with snacks.

🏳️‍🌈 Happy LGBTQ+ History Month!

Our stories matter. Our history matters. We belong in the story.

Hello My Name Is Declan

 

A Name Is More Than Just a Name

Let's talk about names.

Not the name of your Wi-Fi, your favorite houseplant, or the sourdough starter you've somehow become emotionally attached to. I'm talking about your name the one that belongs to you.

For many transgender people, choosing a name that reflects who they are can be an important part of living authentically.

And research tells us that it can make a real difference.

Studies have found that transgender people particularly transgender youth experience lower rates of depression and suicidal behavior when their chosen names are respected across the different parts of their lives.

That's pretty powerful for something as simple as saying someone's name.

A Name Says, "I See You"

Using someone's chosen name communicates something deeply human:

I hear you.
I respect you.
I see you.

For LGBTQIA+ people, that kind of recognition can be especially meaningful after years of being told, directly or indirectly, that who they are is somehow wrong.

For Christians, there's an especially beautiful connection here: love sees people as they are.

We don't have to understand every detail of someone's journey to treat them with dignity.

And we certainly don't need a 47-slide PowerPoint presentation before we can learn someone's name.

Mistakes Happen

Let's be honest. We are human.

You may accidentally use the wrong name or pronoun.

When that happens, you don't need to deliver an acceptance speech worthy of the Oscars.

Just say:

“Sorry. I meant Declan.”

Then keep going.

The goal isn't perfection.

The goal is love.

Names Matter

A chosen name can help someone feel more comfortable in their own skin. It can affirm identity, build confidence, and help people move through the world without constantly having to explain themselves.

And sometimes, a name is simply the name that finally feels like home.

So when someone tells you their name, listen.

Use it.

Respect it.

Because love doesn't always require grand gestures.

Sometimes love looks like something as simple as saying:

“I hear you. I see you. And I will call you by the name that is yours.”

Because where true love is, there is room for all of us to be fully, wonderfully, authentically ourselves.

Who Met Dolly at the Pearly Gates?

 

If we imagine heaven through a lens of love, inclusion, and queer joy, I can picture Dolly being greeted by a joyful crowd of LGBTQIA+ people and allies whose lives she touched. And those whose lives represent the values she has championed.

A few people I could imagine near the front of that line:

• Freddie Mercury — would probably greet her with a huge smile, saying, “Well, darling, we’ve been waiting for you!”
• Betty White - Because Betty and Dolly had a lot of love in their lives and could compare earthly notes.
• Judy Garland — because honestly, Dolly and Judy greeting each other feels almost inevitable. 
• George Michael — another extraordinary musician whose life and identity resonated deeply with LGBTQIA+ people. He would be singing and dancing when he saw her.
• Harvey Milk — welcoming her with a warm embrace and perhaps reminding her how many people found courage to live authentically.
• Marsha P. Johnson — bringing that unmistakable joy, activism, and fierce spirit.
• Jesus - He would make her some heavenly tasting cornbread and tell her how proud he was of how she loved everyone. 
• Matthew Shepard — He would greet her with youthful exuberance and be there representing the countless young people whose lives were cut short because they were LGBTQIA+ telling her how many lives she saved by being her.
• Alan Turing — perhaps standing quietly gratefuly greeting her to thank her for a world that she helped make a little kinder.
• Sylvia Rivera — would be absolutely making sure Dolly knew that the most marginalized members of the community were included in the celebration.
• And then, perhaps, an enormous crowd of ordinary LGBTQIA+ people and allies—teachers, parents, artists, pastors, activists, children, grandparents, and everyone who ever found a little more courage because Dolly reminded them that they mattered.

And I have a feeling Dolly wouldn't be standing there receiving all the attention. She'd probably look at the crowd, laugh that beautiful laugh, and say something like:

"Well, look at all of you! I thought I was coming to heaven, but it looks like heaven came to greet me." 

 

 Dormant, Not Dead

John 12:24–26

“Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.”

I am going to intermix seeds and acorns  because I like squirrels.

What Does Jesus Mean by “Die”?

In church I've heard these words as a call to sacrifice.

Today I hear Jesus saying something different.

I hear Jesus talking about transformation.

I hear the Divine lover of my being talking about the mystery of becoming.

 

LET'S TALK SEEDS

A seed can look completely lifeless.

You can hold it in your hand and see no evidence of life.

But inside that tiny seed is an embryo—a beginning of a plant.

It contains what it needs to begin again.

Give it the right conditions

It wakes up.

The seed begins to germinate.

The shell cracks.

Roots begin reaching downward.

A stem begins reaching upward.

Eventually, something that looked dead becomes something unmistakably alive.

• The seed carries possibility within itself.
• The breaking of the shell is not the destruction of the seed. It is the beginning of its becoming.

Seeds are miracles of creation with shells. 

Sound familiar?

LGBTQIA+ & 

those who are othered by society

know about shells/closets

Hiding becomes a skill

Being fully yourself can be uncomfortable or dangerous.

So we build protective shells.

We learn what parts of ourselves are safe to reveal and what parts need to remain hidden.

We learn to hide -

Our gender.

Our sexuality.

Our relationships.

Our dreams.

Our truth.

• Hiding doesn't mean weakness
• Sometimes protection is necessary.

But here's the problem:

Survival is not the same thing as living.

Shells 

There comes a time when the shell begins to crack.

Maybe it happens when you come out.

Maybe when you transition.

Maybe when you finally tell someone a truth.

Maybe when you look in the mirror and say:

“I am allowed to be this person.”

That can feel scary.

Because when the shell cracks- change happens

The identity you constructed to survive begins to change.

The expectations of other people begin to lose their power.

The version of you that everyone else knew may begin disappearing.

And sometimes we mistake that transformation for death.

But perhaps what is dying is not you.

Perhaps what is dying is the shell.

The shame.

The fear.

The uncomfortable -  comfort zone

The lie that you had to become for someone else to feel loved.

Speaking points:

• What is ending?
• Is it really me—or is it the shell?
• Is God taking something away or making room for something new?
• What if becoming yourself feels like dying because you have lived so long as someone else?

GROWTH POTENTIAL 

Seeds don't grow everywhere.

They need an environment where blossoming is possible.

Like us.

Some environments help us grow.

Others keep us buried.

Ask yourself:

• Where do I feel safe enough to be myself?
• Who allows me to tell the truth?
• Where am I nourished?
• Where am I constantly made to feel inadequate?
• What relationships give me life?
• What relationships make me shrink?

Maybe your soil is a community.

Maybe it is simply one person who says:

“I see you. I believe you. You don't have to hide from me.” 

THANK YOU BELOVED

 Squirrels carrying their acorns remind me of the seeds in today's passage.

Because I watch squirrels out my office window and have named them SOOO here come the acorns. Yes, ricky, barnaby and freddy are my front yard squirrels.

Now, you may be wondering why I put squirrels in a sermon about seeds.

Well, stay with me.

Squirrels bury things.

Sometimes they bury food because they are preparing for the future.

And sometimes they forget where they put it. (ME AT 65-keys, spouse)

Which means that somewhere beneath the ground in my yard, there may be something waiting to be discovered. Hopefully not my keys.

And I wonder if we do the same thing.

We bury 

I think God works thru encounters 

An encouraging person

A sermon

A conversation or question

A moment of grace.

And suddenly something we buried begins to emerge.

Ask Yourself;

• What dream did I put away?
• What joy did I decide I wasn't allowed to have?
• What truth have I buried because someone told me it was unacceptable?

Maybe it isn't dead.

Maybe it's dormant.

Jesus says the seed falls into the earth.

It enters darkness.

It disappears from view.

There are seasons in our lives when we feel buried.

Buried by grief.

shame.

rejection.

uncertainty.

Buried by other people's expectations.

Buried by our own fear.

But being buried doesn't necessarily mean being forgotten.

The seed is buried in the same soil where others might think it has been lost.

And perhaps that is where faith comes in.

Because God knows the difference between a grave and a garden. And I believe we do too. 

Whether we understand resurrection literally, spiritually, metaphorically—or some combination of all three—there is something powerful in the message.

Jesus believed that buried things could bloom.

that people could awaken.

 that love was stronger than fear shame or rejection

Stronger than the tombs we build around ourselves.

So perhaps there is something in your life right now that feels dead.

Perhaps you have stopped dreaming.

Perhaps you have stopped believing.

Perhaps you have buried a part of yourself.

Perhaps someone convinced you that you were too much.

Or not enough.

Or wrong.

Or unworthy.

Or outside God's love.

But hear this:

Don't mistake dormancy for death.

The seed may simply be waiting.

Waiting for water.

Waiting for warmth.

Waiting for light.

Waiting for the right soil.

Waiting for time.

Waiting for the courage to crack open.

And sometimes what we need isn't to become someone new.

“What looks like an ending may be an awakening.”

“What looks like burial may be planting.”

“What looks like death may be dormancy.”

Sometimes we need the freedom to become more fully who we already are.

Close

Perhaps the invitation of resurrection IS - 

Not to become someone else.

But to awaken.

.

Carl Jung wrote:

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

AND

“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you.”

Listen to that quiet voice that says:

“There is more life in you.”

“You are not finished.”

“You are not dead.”

“You are dormant.”

And when the warmth of grace reaches you...

When the rain of acceptance comes...

When the soil becomes safe...

When the shell finally cracks...

GROW

Reach toward the light.

Become who you were created to be.

A Return Ticket To A Moment

"A photograph is the pause button of life."

Pictures are a return ticket to a moment that is otherwise gone. Those moments may still be tucked away in the deepest recesses of our minds. Some memories we try to forget, yet they remain a part of us. Being a transgender man pictures from my past can bring up a perplexity of emotions and thoughts.

This photo recently resurfaced in my Facebook memories. My beloved knew me when it was taken. She shared her thoughts about it and then asked for mine. Her question sent me into a period of introspection.

These are my thoughts.

The person in the picture above feels like a stranger. I lived that life. I remember the moment the photograph was taken. Yet it is a profoundly strange experience to look at yourself and at the same time not recognize yourself.

I see someone who was doing the best they could to be a person they were never meant to be. Someone existing in a state of not truly being. They survived, they smiled, they kept going—but they were disconnected from their authentic self.

Imagine looking at a photograph of someone and being told, "That's you," while every part of you insists it isn't. The memories belong to me, but the person in the picture no longer feels like me. It is a disorienting experience, one that is difficult to explain unless you've lived it.

Today, that image reminds me not only of who I was expected to be, but of the long journey toward becoming who I have always been.

This is me now with my Beloved. 

I feel more me than I ever have in my entire life.

I am Declan. I am a transgender man. I am loved. I am becoming.

I will leave you with this quote to ponder. 

“Which of my photographs is my favorite? 

The one I’m going to take tomorrow.”
― Imogen Cunningham